This was not the kind of mom I wanted to be. I use to be fun and happy and I could see that my behavior was pushing my kids further away from me and causing them to mirror my emotionally immature behavior back to me.  One night after screaming at my kids at bed time and telling everyone to "shut the hell up!!", I slammed the bedroom door and sat on my couch.

 

My daughter came out with tears in her eyes and asked me, "Do you even love us?" I felt heartbroken. I felt disgusted with myself. How could I allow this to get so bad? So that night I began researching ways to control my anger and live a more simple life.

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Now 7 months later I rarely yell. I recognize that my anger was stemming from fear and I have learned the tools to shift my thinking and self regulate in the moment.  I set up systems in my home to reduce mental overload and over-stimulation. I learned how to set boundaries and my relationship with my children as well as my motherhood experience has completely transformed.

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I look forward to getting up each day and I feel confident in my ability to parent in a calm and respectful manner. My relationship with my husband and kids is better than ever and although nothing is perfect I have adjusted my expectations so that I celebrate my wins rather than ruminating over my mistakes. 

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I recently became certified as an Anger Management Specialist and I am committed to helping other moms learn more about anger and how to control it in motherhood. The joyful motherhood experience you want can be had if you are courageous enough to own up to your shortcomings, forgive yourself, and take action to break cycles by learning new skills and applying them over and over again.